New managers
You got promoted over your friends. Now what?
Name the change out loud with each person, early: you are still you, but your job now includes decisions about their work. Hold a structured 1:1 with everyone in your first two weeks, set expectations for the whole team in writing, and make your first hard call fairly and in private. Most of the awkwardness fades once people see you treat everyone the same.
How managers put it
- “Last week we were complaining about the boss together. Now I'm the boss.”
- “How do I give feedback to someone who's been my friend for years?”
- “One of them wanted the job too. How do I handle that?”
What to do
1.Talk to each person in your first two weeks
Say what has changed and what has not. Ask what they need from a lead, and what the old manager did that they want you to keep or drop.
2.Talk first to anyone who wanted the job
Acknowledge it directly and ask for their help. Pretending it did not happen makes it bigger.
3.Set up regular, structured 1:1s
The same rhythm for everyone, a shared agenda, notes kept. Structure stops friendships turning into favoritism, or into the fear of it.
4.Write down the team's expectations
Hours, how work is handed over, how decisions get made. Writing them down makes it about the job, not about you.
5.Make the first hard call carefully
Your first piece of critical feedback or first refused request will be watched. Do it privately, specifically, and the way you would with anyone.
6.Find someone to talk to outside the team
You cannot vent to your old peers any more. Find a fellow manager, the owner or a mentor for that.
Where LVL Up helps
Recurring 1:1s with a shared agenda
Set the same recurring 1:1 for everyone. Both of you add to the agenda, and notes and action items are kept by date.
Conversation openers you edit
The AI assistant can draft an opener for a first 1:1 or a difficult conversation from what is already recorded. You rewrite it in your own words; each plan includes a monthly allowance of requests.
Goals that make expectations explicit
Team and individual goals with owners, due dates and status put the expectations in writing instead of in your head.
What it does not do
LVL Up gives you the structure for 1:1s and goals and drafts you edit; it cannot have the conversations for you, and the drafts are starting points, not advice about your particular team. It does not include manager training courses.
Common questions
How do you manage people who used to be your peers?
Acknowledge the change directly with each person, set clear and equal expectations, and keep regular structured 1:1s with everyone. In the first months, consistency matters more than being liked.
Can I still be friends with my team?
You can be friendly, but you cannot be closer to some than others at work without it looking unfair. Many new managers keep the friendship outside work and the structure inside it.
What should my first 1:1 with a former peer cover?
What has changed and what has not, what they need from you, what they want to keep from the old way of working, and how they like to get feedback.
What if a former peer will not accept me as their manager?
Talk to them privately about specific behavior, not about respect in general. If it continues, handle it as you would any conduct issue, consistently.
Related:
Keep the record in one place
1:1 notes, goals, reviews, feedback and recognition for your team, without an HR department. From $29 a month for up to 25 people.
The trial is 14 days with no credit card, then read-only until you choose a plan. See pricing.